Chapter 1. They Arrive, And So Does The President
_ CHAPTER I. THEY ARRIVE, AND SO DOES THE PRESIDENT
"Nu, what‘s the matter now?" Morris Perlmutter asked, as he entered the office one morning after the cessation of hostilities on the western front.
"Ai, tzuris!" Abe moaned in reply, and for at least a minute he continued to rock to and fro in his chair and to make incoherent noises through his nostrils in the manner of a person suffering either from toothache or the recent cancelation of a large order.
"It serves you right," Morris said. "I told you you shouldn‘t eat that liberty roast at Wasserbauer‘s yesterday. It used to give you the indigestion when it was known as Koenigsburger Klops, which it is like the German Empire now calling itself the German Republic； changing its name ain‘t going to alter its poisonous disposition none."
"That‘s right!" Abe said. "Make jokes, why don‘t you? You are worser as this here feller Zero."
"What feller

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